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Good Morning, FS Warriors! Day 2 of my dietary rebirth. Journal entry #883. I cannot believe that I have been on this FS journey for this long. When I think about how I haven't really lost anything in the long run, it gets kind of depressing. But then I think about the fact that I haven't gained any either, and I guess I am blessed. Knowing me, and my propensity to eat wtih wanton disregard for the consequences, I would say that FS has kept me in check. Besides that, we all know that this comes down to mind over matter anyway: you're not going to lose the weight until it becomes important enough for you to make it your priority. To me, it is just like it was when I quit smoking 15 years ago. I couldn't cut down. I tried the patches. I would quit a couple days and go right back to it. Then, I realized that I was getting winded going up and down stairs, I couldn't get up and down and play with the kids like I used to, and it was a complete time waster. I just decided, come hell or high water, I was done with it. Quit cold turkey, and never went back. I see the same trend in my lack of restraint when it comes to eating. I get winded when I go up and down stairs, it's harder to get down on the ground and play with the kids, and food has become my source for recreation. I'm done with it! I'm not done with the food; I'm done with the lack of self control. One thing 26 years in the military taught me is that victory is in the mind; there is no bigger enemy in a battle than your own mind. Will yourself to win, and you do, or die trying. At least, that's my story and it has served me well all these years. Now I will apply it to my eating habits.
Yesterday, I only ate about 1500 calories and already I feel less bloated, and am getting full with smaller portions. I'm no medical guru, and I don't know if the stomach really shrinks in size or not; I'm not taking mine out and measuring it. But I do know this: when I eat smaller portions for just a little while, it takes less and less to give me that full feeling - if I eat slower and give my mind time to receive the messages from my stomach. Some times I think those messages arrive via "snail mail", but if I wait, they do come. I learned to eat so fast in the military, that I could shovel food in there so fast that I ate enough for 3 people before I would get that full feeling. Back then, I would burn it off though. Today, it just makes me feel miserable and bloated when I do that. I'm attempting to combat the tendency to "speed eat" by setting my fork down between bites, take a sip or two of water, and actually concentrate on enjoying my meal - instead of inhaling it. Some of you know what I'm talking about. Sorry if this sounds all too familiar and boring; I'm talking myself into a lifestyle change here.
Well, anyway, I had a village board meeting last night. Stressful as usual. Listening to a bunch of disgruntled citizens tell us that we don't know what we are doing, how screwed up the village is, how pathetic the sheriffs department is, yada, yada, yada. I was pretty pleased with myself afterward. I am an emotional eater, and I was tempted to eat a handful - of anything - for every slam we received in that meeting. But I didn't. I measured out two cups of cantaloupe chunks for my evening snack, and read a little bit before retiring for the night.
I will be picking and grinning for the Nursing Home Ministry tomorrow night, so with nothing really planned for the evening, I'll just practice a little bit and kick back and relax. Here's wishing you all a wonderful and victorious day. Toodles!
Diet Calendar Entry for 18 August 2015:
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1267 kcal
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Fat: 34.08g | Prot: 102.74g | Carb: 141.19g.
Breakfast: Grape Juice, Kroger Eggs (Large), Toasted White Bread, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Dairy Fresh Non Dairy Creamer. Lunch: Giant Eagle 93% Lean Ground Beef, Scallions or Spring Onions, Green Peppers, Mushrooms. Dinner: Great Value Brown Gravy Mix, Brussels Sprouts, Potatoes (Flesh Without Skin, with Salt, Boiled), Pork Chops or Roasts (Center Rib, Boneless, Lean Only). Snacks/Other: Quaker Rice Cakes - White Cheddar, HEB Cantaloupe Chunks, HEB Pretzel Sticks, Kroger Carbmaster Peach Yogurt, HEB Cantaloupe Chunks, Dasani Bottled Water (16.9 oz). more...
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