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Bear with me, if you will, I just need a place to vent that my family cannot get to and read. I know that you are all a supportive and understanding group of wonderful people, so I came here to let it out.
I bought the exercise bike that I wanted. My boss even delivered it to my house for me. I live with my in-laws, because of financial reasons, we are unable to get our own place. So, my plan with this bike was to put it in the breezeway, which is a little room between the side door and the garage. It is not air conditioned or heated, its just a roof and 4 walls. Right now, we have a standing deep freezer in there. There is more than enough room for this bike. It would be out of the way, I wouldnt be bothering anyone with my music or my incessant crying because exercise sucks, it was perfect. I was so excited. Until I get home from work yesterday...
Well, apparently, while I was at work, my sister in law decided that she didnt want the bike in the breezeway, she wanted it in her bedroom. That AND my elliptical, which is stuffed in a corner and I cannot get to it or I would have been using the past month. She wants them both moved into her room so that she can move my nieces out into the family room where their mom sleeps (my house is over crowded and ridiculous, long long story).
I was raised by a very strict mother, she would not allow us to walk into others bedrooms without direct permission. If you knocked and the person was not in the room, it didnt matter what was in there that you needed, or if the darn room was on fire, you were not to go in there. My sister in laws bedroom has one door for the jack and jill bathroom we share and sometimes she forgets to unlock my side, and LEAVES!! I have to run upstairs to use the guest bathroom because part of me is so scared that if I walk through hers, my mother is going to pop out and scream at me for being in a room that isnt mine without permission. I am an adult and have this weird hang up.
So now, the two pieces of exercise equipment that I bought, are going to be in a room that I dont even want to go in!! I dont feel comfortable in her room, I dont belong in there. I would put it in my room, but my husband and I got the smaller of the two rooms and we have a bigger bed and more furniture, but because her name is on the lease, not ours, she got the choice of the better room. I am just so frustrated. I told my husband last night, and he told me I was being silly and that she wont care if I am in there. And writing it all out, does seem kind of silly, but if anyone here grew up with ultra strict parents, then you understand that stigma and fear that it puts in you, even in your adult life.
I am just frustrated and my inclination is to eat when I am feeling like this, so I wanted to write it all out and get it out of me. There is a guy who buys books from my company, and he is here right now and ALWAYS brings pastries with him, so there is a box of chocolate chip muffins like 4 feet from me and I am dying to eat them all!! I am tired of living there! I am just so frustrated. I am not going to eat the muffins, I dont even really want them, but, my emotional eating habit is raging back like an unwanted ex. Uggg!!!
Gonna be a good day....gonna be a good day....gonna be a good day....
Diet Calendar Entries for 09 February 2018:
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1718 kcal
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Fat: 123.32g | Prot: 113.31g | Carb: 23.79g.
Lunch: Wendy's Baconator Double (No Bun). Dinner: Meat Pizza Topping. Snacks/Other: Jack Link's Beef Pepperoni Sticks, Frigo Cheese Heads Original String Cheese. more...
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5501 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 8 hours, Driving - 30 minutes, Resting - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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