I have always struggled with my weight since my first memory in middle school. Diabetes is rampant in my family as well as obesity. Will I be the next person in my family to die by the hands of something that is within my control?? That scares me the most. I am a single woman, never married, no children, work full time and I go to school full time. I would like very much to learn how to live healthy and adapt a more moderate position with food and exercise. I would like very much to be at a normal weight when I am ready to have children. I would like to feel as young as I look because I am not tired from all the weight I lug around superfluously. I am tired of running 5 miles X 5 days a week for no improvements because I make the wrong choices in food. I feel out of control and I am scared. I had always imagined that my 30s would be glamourous and I would be fit, educated, career driven, and married. Somehow...things are not looking that way and I will not waste another day waiting for it to happen to me. I am willing to take my muscular form and create the body, mind, and spirit I know is waiting underneath the fear, shame, guilt, and pain. Thats my story in a nutshell.