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30 March 2012

Weigh-in: 204.6 lb lost so far: 32.4 lb still to go: 64.6 lb Diet followed reasonably well

29 March 2012

I'm so depressed I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a doormat. I'm so tired of life and I don't want to go on feeling like this another day. I've had so much I've gone through the last 6 months from finding my neighbor hanging in her living room, to my mother in law dying from the floods in upstate new york from Hurricane Irene. Then to top it all off; I'm being bullied at work and I can't get any support from my Supervisor because the person bullying me is being treated with special favoritism. My Supervisor just two days ago completely humiliated me in front of my three of my peers; saying in a staff meeting that she felt that my coworker (the one bullying me) is more capable than I am at doing my job. The funny thing is that's not true. I have more four years Veterinarian training that she doesn't have and I've been there on the job not much longer than she has; but longer none the less... and not to mention that what she knows about "surgery clinic" I've taught her almost everything she knows; but whatever. I can imagine how nice those words from my Supervisor must have sounded for my enemy's ears. I'm so depressed right now; I don't know what to do.. I feel totally helpless. Yesterday, I wrote a note to read to my supervisor explaining how I felt. That went nowhere. She said that I'm not competitive enough and I told her I don't come to work to compete I come to work to work. The funny thing is my coworker is the most competitive person on the job; she used to go around saying that when she was playing softball her daddy used to tell her that she had to prove that she was better than everyone else. This attitude follows her on the job; and I don't feel I have anything to prove to anyone. I know that I do a good job. I took some days off work just to get away from this and all I do is find myself dwelling on it all day and even all night long. I can't sleep... I wake up in the middle of the night upset; I haven't slept well since I found my neighbor anyway; but now I'm pretty much getting 20 minutes here and 20 minutes there. I don't know how long I can go on like this before something gives. I've been through so much stuff in my life I'm actually shocked that THIS stuff is getting to me like it is.. I thought I was stronger but I'm learning I'm really not that strong. Please God give me strength to continue in my hours of darkness..

29 March 2012

Weigh-in: 205.0 lb lost so far: 32.0 lb still to go: 65.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well

27 March 2012

Weigh-in: 206.7 lb lost so far: 30.3 lb still to go: 66.7 lb Diet followed reasonably well

25 March 2012

Weigh-in: 205.0 lb lost so far: 32.0 lb still to go: 65.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well

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