Ruhu's Journal, 07 December 2012

Home Sweet Home! Quite a trip, filled with joy, fun, & lots of laughs to start, then stress, concern & sadness... but home now & woke up to a first -- I lost weight while traveling! That's one area the stress (& nausea) may have helped.

Leaving Mom actually went much better than I'd expected. As I think I mentioned, luckily, she had plans with her man friend and his visiting from out-of-town daughter & the timing was perfect for me to head to the airport as they were taking her out to lunch. Otherwise, the goodbye is always tough. I think she agreed to the increased level of care myself & the retirement home staff there recommended, but since she kept asking each time I brought it up what increasing her care level meant, I'm not sure she's really getting it. Guess the important thing is that I've now seen for myself that she needs it.

I'm feeling good, but a bit sad leaving her & knowing that when I see her next she'll be even less of the Mom that raised me. Quite honestly though, I lost a good part of that Mom when my sister passed away almost 30 years ago. And the resentment I bottled up inside at her over making me deal with the loss of my sister & part of my Mom at the same time, I think has finally been released. I've always known intellectually that she did the best that she could under such difficult circumstances, but emotionally I struggled accepting that & the child in me just wanted my Mom back. That all seems a distance past now & I am feeling good about getting through this current turn of events -- this journaling has been so therapeutic & when I add on all the amazing support & encouragement from my online & in person friends, I am so grateful! For what in the past would have sent me straight to the cookie jar, now has me heading to post, pray, breathe or otherwise take care of myself one moment, meal or day at a time! xoxox

P.S. And I'm at goal again:)!
120.0 lb Lost so far: 8.0 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 07 December 2012:
1433 kcal Fat: 53.44g | Prot: 86.47g | Carb: 141.97g.   Breakfast: Pure Premium Coconut Water with Mango, Smart Balance Fat Free Milk, Ideal Shape Shake. Lunch: Smart Balance Fat Free Milk, Ideal Shape Shake. Dinner: Red Wine, Whipped Cream, Berries, Crispy Artichoke Salad, Grilled Calamari. Snacks/Other: 100 Calorie Almonds, Roasted Brussel Sprouts, Grapes, Chocolite Protein Bar, Seasonal Fresh Fruit Salad. more...
1926 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 14 hours and 30 minutes, Tennis - 1 hour and 30 minutes. more...
losing 1.6 lb a week

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Comments 
Ruth you rock!!! :) 
07 Dec 12 by member: triaby
We here ar camp Team Ruth are cheering and clapping!!! In our mind we even did some high kicks and cartwheels!! 
07 Dec 12 by member: FullaBella
Welcome home! Funny - I go through a strange mix of emotions whenever I visit home. But I think is beneficial to do some soul searching before getting on with the everyday humdrum. Take care.  
07 Dec 12 by member: BuffyBear
Glad you are home safe and sound Ruth and you managed so well with your plan while travelling. You are a wise woman and are very intropsective.What you are doing is working for you-Keep breathing and taking care of yourself :) 
07 Dec 12 by member: newmooney

     
 

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