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grossefemme's Journal, 06 July 2012
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I'm sick of being fat. No, not tired, or sad, just sick, almost literally. I'm sick of not being able to function normally, of being tired, of skipping things because I'm too fat. It's a lie and complete denial when in websites they tell you you can be fat and still enjoy life. It's bullocks and I wouldn't recommend to anyone to fall for that "fat acceptance" crap, that's the motto of lazy people who aren't willing to go the extra mile to get healthy, up to a few days ago I was one of those mediocres who was in denial and thought that being fat was an acceptable way of living, it is not. I don't want to wait to get a disease that will really leave me without options to finally decide to get healthy, and by healthy I mean a lifestyle change, not diet.
I used to weigh 127 pounds, yeah, I was overweight my entire life, but never THIS overweight, losing this 110 lbs are gonna be the biggest challenge of my life. It'll be the difference between living a nice life or living this miserable life I'm living right now. My mom died relatively young of heart disease and diabetes 9 months ago, I don't want to end up like her, but at 29, I'm already feeling sick from all I've done to my body in the past 6 years.
This is my turning point, there's no way back, I can't stand living another day like this, not doing something about my body. This is not about looking good, this is about being able to go to the living room and then back to my room without feeling like I walked a mile. It's about waking up in the morning without my extremities feeling numb, this is about stop feeling paranoid that my heart will stop one day, or that I'll wake up next month with high blood pressure or diabetes.
I want to make the change while I still can, I want to be able to go back to Kung Fu one day, it's one of the things I miss the most from when I was thinner. You can't do Kung Fu when you're 5'0 and 208 pounds, it's impossible, but try telling that to all those fat acceptance groups out there. I really tried to make myself feel better about this, I really did, but nothing can help the blues when you know that the right choice requires effort, that the only thing that'll take this bad feeling away is actually doing something about the thing that's causing it.
I am going to do this. So please, if anyone relates to this, help me, and I'll do my best to help you back.
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My name is Renae and I can relate. I have been over weight my entire life. At one point I lost so much weight I was sick looking. My bones were sticking out but I was skinny. I finally realized it was not healthy and started putting weight back on, except I went over board. I gain back all of my weight and then some. I went from 115lbs to 140lbs in less than three months. I felt horrible. Now I am almost 50 and I weigh more than I ever have in my entire life. I weigh 218 and I want to weigh 135-140. That is the ultimate weight for my body structure and what is health according to my doctor.
I had two knee replacements so it is hard for me to exercise. I am tired of being over weight and unhealthy. I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I don't want to have a heart attack at 50. It is true as you get older it is harder to lose weight but I am determined to do this. Not just for myself but for my family. I lost my mom to breast cancer 6 years ago. It was hard on my children. I don't want them to experience the pain of losing a parent. It was hard enough on them to lose their grandmother and they were close to her.
Like you I want to change my life before it is to late. I want to be active again and enjoy doing the things I use to do with my husband. We would go dancing, hiking or just walk the mall. We don't do that any more and I miss it so much. I don't like feeling down all the time or tired all the time. I want my energy back and my life back. I am the only one that can make the change and I am going to do this.
If you want, I would love to help you. It will also help me to stay motivated by helping you.
Have a great day,
Renae
06 Jul 12 by member: renae072163
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Thank you so much for your quick reply, Renae, I know EXACTLY how you feel, it's almost a sense of helplessness at times, but the thing is, it is something we can change! I've read a lot about lifestyle changes, and since you have had knee surgery, perhaps starting to walk would help you greatly until you lose more weight, the more you lose weight, the easier it'll be on your knees. I'd love to help you and get your help in return, let's stay in touch and just do this, we can!
06 Jul 12 by member: grossefemme
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What is your name? My husband and I are trying to walk. Living in AZ it is hard to be outside, which I love dearly. Even at night it is still so hot. I am going to check into the local rec center. I know they have an indoor track so we could walk durning the day. Here lately I have been in so much pain, it has been raining. I try to work through the pain but these past two days it has been very hard. I am also trying Sensa. I hope it will help with the cravings and help me cut down on my portion sizes. I think between this program and the Sensa and the support from the great people I am meeting here I can and will start to lose weight. I set a goal for myself, by mid August I have planned to have lost 5-7 pounds. I figure if I lose 1-2 pounds a week it will be a health speed and something I can do. Set this goal for yourself too and lets lose 5-7 pounds by August 15, what do you say?
15 Jul 12 by member: renae072163
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