There is nothing wrong with you! I am where you are in different ways. My husband has smoked sense he was eleven and I started at eighteen. Every time I think about quitting I ask him to do the same and when he says no... I just say 'well, forget that idea.' And, I do nothing. I think I blamed him for a long time; now I am learning: I have to take responsibility for myself putting it on him is not fair, to either of us. I'm here if you need help just take things one step at a time. (Sorry for the run on sentences. )
Verbl