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jsfantome's Journal, 17 June 2012
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I suppose in the Big Scheme of things I really can't say ... I didn't expect it... I just didn't expect it NOW. Heading into this month, having just had my daughter's bridal shower, then the youngest's school play, High School Graduation, then off to England on his trip... we knew the month was going to be FULL! Big Grad Party for the college bound kid, and also for the middle son graduating from his Firemen's Medic School. (top of his class!) And of course, the wedding is in two weeks. All kinds of dress fittings, and craziness... it's crazy land around here!
But not once did I contemplate this would be the time my Mom would die.
She had been good... shy of the nose bleed issue a few months ago...and her rash that just wouldn't go away...she seemed really good. She just woke up one morning and said she didn't feel well. Less than 24hrs later, she was gone. Her lungs gave out.
Not her heart...which we all expected. Not her strokes, or her blood, or any of the stuff we watched so diligently over. Just her tired lungs that didn't want to keep going.
Really? I didn't even know lungs did that?
Missing her a lot today. Just sitting here listening to the birds outside my window. Something she and I loved to do in the morning with our cup of coffee in hand.
It's just not the same. They're still beautiful. But they sounded more beautiful when she was talking to them...
Miss my Dad today too!
Happy Father's Day to any Dad's out there!
Much Love.
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 Comments
So sorry about your loss. Sending prayers your way.
17 Jun 12 by member: southernldy
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Dearest Paula, just now read your journal. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending gentle hugs your way.
17 Jun 12 by member: Gigi39
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Paula, I'm very sorry to hear that your mom has passed on. I could tell that she was very well taken care of in her last years, and that you had some very special time together. I'm praying for you in your grief, and also that even fondest moments that were forgotten will return to comfort you when they are most needed.
17 Jun 12 by member: DairyKing
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Sorry to hear of your recent loss - but know you have the love and support of your family all around you.
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Sorry for your loss ((( hugs))) ...
17 Jun 12 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
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Hi Paula, just wanted to let you know I am still thinking about you and wishing you - what - peace? comfort? a rest? Whatever you need, I trust and hope that you are receiving it. Your 92 year old Auntie sounds like a wise woman. Hugs.
18 Jun 12 by member: sarahsmum
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Hi Paula. Sorry for your loss. Hopefully, in the future, hearing the birds sing will become a happy reminder of the good times you had with your Mom, and not a reminder of how much you miss her; having the faith that you will see her again. Prayers and blessings to you and your family.
18 Jun 12 by member: ShyGuy
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just a note to say thank you - for every comment, every prayer, every wish of comfort to me!!! THANK YOU!
18 Jun 12 by member: jsfantome
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Paula, I spent the day yesterday at my mom's, with my sibs. I understand exactly how you feel. HUGS!! Lots of love, prayers, and hugs coming your way!!
18 Jun 12 by member: ctlss
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I know you do Stef! I was thinking of you yesterday ;) When we toasted my Dad, and my Mom... I raised my glass and said to all the Dad's that are no longer with us... and thought of you! Hope to be back on this week and will try to catch up. Much Love.
18 Jun 12 by member: jsfantome
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Paula, So sorry to hear of your loss, I suppose it really is good we don't know what is coming to us. You have so much going on in your life right now, sending prayers and love your way. {{{HUGS}}
19 Jun 12 by member: Yvonne19
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Paula, so sorry to hear of your loss. I know that you had a lot of good times with your mom, hold those close to you now. I remember you talking about the time you brought your mom to see your Aunt and how much fun the 'old ladies' had, how they acted like youngsters, hold those time close. Remember the good times and also that she is not in pain now. Love & hugs to you. It is difficult taking care of elderly parents, I know, and sometimes I become resentful of the chore, but then I realize, they are my parents, people that gave me life and took care of me, I will continue to help them as much as I can.
19 Jun 12 by member: JMA312
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19 Jun 12 by member: Nitara
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