jegfire's Journal, 03 June 2012

Well how life changes and throws curve balls. Not coping at all well, my mum was sectioned under mental health act which was traumatic enough and she blamed me all the time for everything, accused me all the time of things i would never do. she was ill and had been for ages with dementia. but then to end it all she died on the 1st april which has left me a big hole and with so much regret and guilt about everything, no one to tell and no one to listen. consequently the diet is out the window big time. cant even think when i might get back on any track at the moment let alone diet. feel so much alone, was an only child dad died at 3, i do have my own children but they are not on this earth to bear my troubles, dont like to burden them with any of my feelings so just needed to write something somewhere and then its out for now. need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back into the real world. functioning to everyone who sees me but i know i am not really coping very well.
302.0 lb Lost so far: 34.6 lb.    Still to go: 114.6 lb.    Diet followed poorly.
on diet jegfire's own diet   gaining 0.7 lb a week
Comments 
Hi Jegfire. I really don't know what to say but I had to repply to you anyway. The idea I am getting is of someone who's life and impresion of it is a bit complicated at the moment. It also seems to me that you are very concious of many of the mental processes that are going through your head. You seem to be honest with yourself and that is what prompted me to make a coment. To me that is the way forward. I think you are onto something there and if you make yourself responsible for your own future no one can stop you from archieven whatever you want to archieve. Very Kind Regards Jose 
03 Jun 12 by member: Jose Cervino

     
 

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