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Fate's Journal, 15 May 2012
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It's been a while since I've been active here. I have been so crazy busy with work and school that I feel like my weight loss journey has waned a lot. I don't want to sit here and complain, because I know plenty of people busier than I are able to do it. Now that it's summer and I'm working full time and not preoccupied with school at the same time, I feel like I can get back on track and I'm going to regain the momentum that started last summer. It's been nearly a year and I've lost about 32 pounds, and I'm very happy about that but I would like to lose the 40-more or so I need to to get to a healthy weight. (Of course, I would always like to lose more, but I want to focus on getting healthy first :))
I've been getting a lot of support lately from family and friends, and it's really been making me feel good. I read an article a while ago about weight loss and some doctor said you shouldn't talk about it, because the encouragement you get from others will sway you to stop--I completely disagree and have found it to be the opposite effect. I am usually never comfortable about talking about my weight but I've been trying to come out of my shell about it more, and I've been meeting good results.
I just find it hard to stay motivated sometimes. One of the big reasons I want to lose the weight and get slimmer (well, there are numerous reasons) is because I want to study abroad in Spain next year, and I also would love to go to Brazil in the next few years, but I don't like how I look. And really, it goes beyond not liking how I look (I've been told that due to certain aspects of my appearance, people will pay attention to me anyway.... how reassuring...), I also just know that I will have a hard time walking around and doing things with people, and I don't want my weight/body to hold me back from the things I'd like to do.
I really would like to find out what I can do with the loose skin I have from losing weight already. Surgery is really not an option for me, but it seems to be the only option according to most websites. Some say, use creams or lose weight slowly or whatever. I am wondering if I can turn it into muscle and get ripped @_@ I don't really want to be, I would rather be more feminine, but if it gets rid of the excess skin (and makes me stronger!) then I will try it. I would like to lose more weight first before I start looking into pumping up. I also want to get rid of stretch marks... those are supposed to disappear with time but I want to look into creams or something. I think it will help my self image.
Overall, I guess I'm happy, but I know I still have a long way to go. I think I need to start losing again before I can start being really happy again (about my progress). I've hit a bit of a plateau and I'm trying to get over it. It's hard to say no to the foods I love sometimes. I don't cut anything totally out of my diet (well, I guess there are some things that I would have eaten before that I no longer do--but I don't ever say "I WILL NEVER EAT THIS EVER EVER!"), but I try to eat less of the bad stuff, and sometimes you just look at a big plate of french fries and drool... I also have problems because I seem to not like the taste of most healthy things (many fruits, veggies, fish, nuts...), so... I guess I've got to find the ones I DO like, and maybe be a "sneaky chef" and mix the other ones into other things.
I think it might be difficult because I actually ate pretty well when I was away at college, always trying to pick soup or the lower-calorie options, but now that I'm back at home and eating whatever is made I just worry. I know I just need to keep in control!
If you can't already tell, I like writing. :) I really should get a diary. Wishing you all the best!
Diet Calendar Entries for 15 May 2012:
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1413 kcal
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Fat: 32.79g | Prot: 79.10g | Carb: 197.73g.
Breakfast: oatmeal, skim milk. Lunch: chicken tortilla soup, Baked Lays, UWGB Fruit cup. Dinner: french fries ore ida, grilled chicken. Snacks/Other: breakfast on the go, Riesen. more...
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2797 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Bicycling (moderate) - 13/mph - 45 minutes, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 6 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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