Try not drinking any alcohol for 30 days or so.
See if during that time you start feeling that you have to have one.
Think about your own statement about "It relaxes me" Perhaps if you are feeling a bit guilty, you could find another way to relax.
There sounds like a bit of danger in the statement "Well I drank, I did not eat" Sort of not normal behavior, don't you think?? Only you can answer the question yourself.
There are billions of people in the world that don't drink and have a great life, that much I can assure you. It is not a requirement.
Anyway this is supposed to be about weight loss and it is pretty hard to lose weight with all those alcohol carbs. Best of luck to you.