DLynneGarner's Journal, 07 March 2012

Great writing. Some old thoughts from my journal on the subject of self-forgiveness... dug this out of the archive from May 30, 2009... Self-forgiveness is so important! I have really strong feelings about forgiving others as well, but reading your post reminded me that self-forgiveness is critical and God doesn't need us reminding Him of what He's already forgiven. Anyway - from my 2009 Journal: On my way to work yesterday I was assaulted with a memory of something that I did many, many years ago that I am not particularly proud of. I'm not sure why it popped into my head... what made me think of that moment, but I was immediately back feeling those same feelings. Ashamed of my behavior, ashamed that I defied God, I remember how I felt way back then and almost found myslef there again. Once that thought creeped into my mind it was followed by many others... all the other things that I don't recall on a daily basis, but still dig out of the bad-behavior archives, they just followed right along, ready to take up residency in my day. But... I didn't allow that to happen. You see, I asked for forgiveness for those behaviors a few years ago. I carried it with me for many years during my life, feeling guilty, and then a few years ago, I finally really turned them over to God. I told him how sorry I was - truly - and asked that those sins be forgiven. And they were. He does not remember them. Sometimes Satan reminds me of them. Those sins are forgiven sins, they are lessons that I have learned. They are behaviors that I have changed. They are examples that God will forgive a truly repentent heart. "Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5 I've been bought and paid for. My sins are forgiven. I am covered in the blood of the lamb not in shame. I could have allowed those Satan injected memories to control my emotions yesterday, to take over my day, to push me down into a slimy pit of despair, to be ashamed. Instead, head held high, I reminded him that I have not forgotten that the battle is one, he is not the victor and I have been forgiven. I am redeemed, therefore I am not ashamed, and he, Satan, should just forget about it.  

Awesome Heidi, thank you for sharing! You are so right, satan is "disarmed." He has nothing but tricks. He goes around like a pathetic starving lion trying to see whom he can devour, but it is not us! We can let go of the past, let Jesus wash all the pain away, and forgive ourselves because we have been forgiven and there's nothing we can do to stop it now. PTL! Our goal should always be a clean conscience. Not that we won't make mistakes, but we must forgive ourselves and others immediately and never give the devil the pleasure of thinking we're harboring guilt or condemnation toward ourselves or others. AMEN!