2ManyCurves's Journal, 29 July 2014

I messed up tonight a little. Ate more than my RDI, too many carbs and screwed up the no sugar challenge (again!) Stress eating got the best of me. I went to my mom's house to vent for a bit and ended up eating two chocolate marshmallow cookies and an almond cookie. Also, ate a cup of homemade spaghetti with tiny meatballs. This was after I had stopped at Taco Bell for a quick dinner. I don't even like that stuff when I am eating sugars and carbs. It's a shame I didn't pick something I actually like to consume if I were to eat empty calories. On the way home I once again felt an overwhelming urge to eat. I made it through town passing up all of the fast food restaurants, but decided I would stop at the gas station just outside of town and buy junk food. Fortunately, I pulled my head out of my rear long enough to walk myself back out of the gas station without buying anything. I arrived home still to a rumbling stomach and fixed myself a toasted ham and cheese sandwich on low cal bread. Not great choices, but it was almost much worse. In retrospect, I feel like I didn't pack enough food for lunch which made me more inclined to binge after work and once I started eating empty carbs at dinner it made me crave more and more carbs. I also did a few things right tonight: 1.) I didn't eat the whole column of cookies, 2.) I didn't stop at any fast food restaurants on the way back home, and 3.) I walked out of the gas station without buying a single thing even when I felt like my stomach was gnawing on my backbone and 4.) I'm refraining from purging even though that negative, shame-filled voice is in the back of my head telling me what an awful, terrible person who lacks self-control and willpower I am. Instead, I'm purging my feelings out on here so I can regain my bearings and focus. 2001 calories for the day. Yes, it is more than I required. Yes, it is comprised of macros I was avoiding. But, it could be worse. And, I am stopping now. Starting this moment, I am vowing to make better food choices for the rest of the day and tomorrow. I can't promise I will be perfect after that. But at least for tonight and tomorrow, I am going to improve the choices I made today. Lastly, I am scheduled to cycle this evening. I am proceeding to do that now...not in a ping pong way of negating empty calories and bad choices, but rather because I planned to complete cycling mileages today and cycling will make me a stronger athlete.

Dusting myself off now and putting one foot in front of the other.


Diet Calendar Entries for 29 July 2014:
2001 kcal Fat: 87.53g | Prot: 89.98g | Carb: 224.12g.   Breakfast: Egg, Bacon, Blackberries, Quaker Quick 1-Minute Oats. Lunch: Celery, Red Onions, Cooked Dry or Black, Brown or Bayo Beans (Fat Not Added in Cooking). Dinner: Almond Cookie, Chocolate-Covered Marshmallow Cookie, Spaghetti with Tomato Sauce and Meatballs, Doritos Nacho Cheese Tortilla Chips, Taco Bell Double Decker Taco. Snacks/Other: Deli Sliced Ham, Kraft Velveeta Cheese Slices, EarthGrains 35 Calorie Wheat Bread, Wonderful Pistachios (Package), rosaty packaging Cheesewich Colby Jack Cheese & Hard Salami. more...
2170 kcal Activities & Exercise: Weight Training (moderate) - 20 minutes, Bicycling (slow) - 11/mph - 38 minutes, Sleeping - 23 hours and 2 minutes. more...

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Comments 
Hi 2Many!! I too have experienced the extreme cravings for 'empty' nutrient foods (Carbs are my weakness & sugar too) I'm doing much better with the sugar part since I switched to splenda sweetened drinks and drink more water. The carb thing though, for me is still an ongoing issue. I do find though, that if I start the day off with a good amount of protein (eggs, or an omelette with cheese and even add bacon or sausage), I do a lot better throughout the day. I try to do the dame with lunch, just adding tuna or unbreaded chicken to my greens and I usually don't use fat free or lite dressings either, but I'm careful not to use too much by dipping my fork into the dressing and then stabbing the fork into the bite I'm taking. It really saves on the added calories. I know exactly what you mean when you speak of just wanting to eat everything even though you know you're either not hungry, or you're stressed. Could be hormone levels too. I find I eat & crave much more food or even junk when it's that time of month and then again at ovulation time!! It's like I can't win with that hormone level stuff, I swear! Then If I DO go off the deep end with the cravings and give in, I spend the next 2-4 weeks trying to reset my body and get back on track, only to deal with the hormonal swing again! You may want to try making sure you're getting in plenty of protein since that tends to stay with you longer and satisfies hunger MUCH BETTER than carbs. I don't know what plan you're on as far as losing weight, but it does seem that you are well aware of what's going on with your body even though it is irritating to experience that ravaging feeling of hunger and feel out of control. You DID take control though, by walking out of the gas station without any junk! That's excellent!! You can do this girl!! I KNOW IT!! Hang in there and just start again in the morning! Best Wishes!! (((hugs))) 
29 Jul 14 by member: LotusBeauty26
It did occur to me that I may well be ovulating today as I am having a couple other symptoms that go along with that. It is tough to overcome hormonal food/mood swings for me as my willpower definitely tends to waiver during those times. It really becomes mind over matter. Thank you for your comment and support! 
29 Jul 14 by member: 2ManyCurves
You're welcome 2ManyCurves Anytime! Your posts are an inspiration to many of us!! Thank YOU!! 
29 Jul 14 by member: LotusBeauty26
This happens to me too. It's a mind thing. I hate it. Tomorrow is a new day! 
29 Jul 14 by member: Hey Chakalina
Such a wonderful sharing and purging here instead of in the bathroom. Yes, it is hard to not go that route but you aren't expected to be perfect. That's why they give us 'tomorrows' .. in case we want to try to be better than 'today'. And I know you'll do it.  
29 Jul 14 by member: FullaBella
You made some good choices in the midst of yesterday, celebrate those successes and start a new day with more good choices.  
30 Jul 14 by member: wholefoodnut
It occurred to me that I failed to log something yesterday: Crystal light. It isn't something I ordinarily drink, but my daughter had made a picture of lemonade and I grabbed a glass of it on the way out the door to work yesterday. I noticed this morning it has aspartame in it. Something in the back of my mind this morning reminded me of a lab experiment where rats where fed a sweetner and it increased their appetite causing them to eat more and ultimately gain weight. Now I can't recall if that artificial sweetner was aspartame or not, but I"m going to look into it some more this afternoon. I rarely drink diet drinks. I'd say I probably have not had one in about three months now. So, really the only thing I did differently yesterday...aside from my female calendar...was to drink that lemonade in the morning. Which, by the way, was 10 calories that I failed to log.  
30 Jul 14 by member: 2ManyCurves
We all mess up and have 'those days'.  
30 Jul 14 by member: aggie95
Journaling is a much healthier way to vent, release, and move forward. Way to go!  
30 Jul 14 by member: Kallau
I forgot about that rat test with artificial sweetener! Maybe that's why whenever I eat something sweet my appetite increases, even if it was sugar-free. I gave up diet drinks recently too. I hope to have good results. Good for you! 
30 Jul 14 by member: ChristyLA
Wow...you are amazing. I haven't been on FS for quite some time now, mostly because I'm totally and completely disgusted wtih myself and I just couldn't bare the thought of posting another journal entry or worse yet my weight. I'm having a rather quiet day at work (hopefully I didn't just jinx myself :-)) and I have been researching Weight Watchers Online. It looks and sounds wonderful but then it hit me...I can do the same thing for free on FS and I have all the support I need right here so I signed on and the first post I saw was yours. I read it and I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. It almost made me cry. You were so honest and forthcoming...it really hit home for me. When I fall off the wagon I just don't track or journal. I pretend that the day didn't happen but what I should do is get on here and post...talk it out. That's what this site is for and we are all on here for the same reason. I apologize for the rambling...I just really needed to say thank you and keep up the fantastic work!  
30 Jul 14 by member: CharmedP3
YAY 4 U, 2 MC, for recognizing your problem & exercising a measure of self-control, & for resisting the urge to binge & purge afterwards. You are so right in thinking to take it just one day at a time. This is a key to permanent success!  
30 Jul 14 by member: GLAMMER
Well done! I too am a binge monster and it doesn't take much to trigger one. One day at a time works well most of the time, but your excellent example shows that sometimes it's measured by minutes or even chocolate marshmallow cookies. Good luck on the way ahead. 
01 Aug 14 by member: grandbears

     
 

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