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I guess it has been awhile since I've journaled seeing that I have 110 unread notifications! Somehow one day away turned into 2 then 3, but I've missed you all so much and the therapy of our safe haven here. I can only describe my absence as our weather has been this week… unsettled. I'm feeling at some crossroads for no real reason… looking for & wanting more, but not sure what… wanting a passion that seems to be missing right now. I was a passionate Mom for many years. As I've said many times, it was what I was put on this earth to do, and I still love every minute spent with my boys. I've been passionate about charity work, community activism, tennis, biking, and even served in our local town government. Recently though I've felt differently, wanted to cut back, smell the roses, take time to read, relax, etc. But, as I've said, I'm feeling unsettled, like something is missing, that I want more.
ATF has been interesting to and alsounsettled. I've been thinking about restricting vs permitting as I'd read about in Geneen Roth's books. This past weekend, I decided that I'd been restricting sugar for long enough, so on Sunday, I thoroughly enjoyed some of my favorite sweet treats. Opposite of what many say, they tasted delicious and not too sweet. I didn't binge, enjoyed each treat and am back to my gluten, lactose & sugar aware ways since. It felt good to just relax about food and enjoy it. It was time as I feel unsettled there too… not wanting to have to focus so intently on what/how much I eat, wanting to permit more but still scared of what that will do to not number on the scale.
Well, that's my story for now, and I'm working through it. I'm truly grateful for the love & support of my amazing buddies here, my family & IRL friends, one extra special email friend, and having the health & wealth to live and explore this life I love even as it feels unsettled.
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