SherrieC's Journal, 16 May 2014

Time for some truth and reality.
I have been reading everyone's journals, and thinking to myself that you all are amazing and determined people. I am not writing this to get any sympathy, nor am I downing myself. (well maybe a little disappointed in myself). I have come to realize that I have not been giving 100% to my weight loss journey. I can give you so many excuses why I haven't but what for, I am sure you have heard them before. I do have the best intentions, just get somewhat lost along the way. I do like going to the gym, and when I do go I really put an effort into it. Again, that isn't always true.

Writing this down , I guess I am hoping it will open my eyes and see what I have been doing. Please if you read this, just know that I honestly know what I have to do, it is just doing it.

I do have to say that I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, such as health issues, money issues, etc. I know all excuses, but it is taking a toll on me mentally and I am trying to deal with it all without having to bother anyone. Like I said earlier, I am not in any way looking for sympathy or answers, I just needed to write it down to come face to face with what is going on. Everyone, keep up the amazing work you are doing and have a blessed weekend.

PS: I do want to say that I understand that everyone has the same if not similar issues going on in there own life and I am not the only one. Be strong in your journeys. :)

Diet Calendar Entry for 16 May 2014:
1722 kcal Fat: 65.55g | Prot: 68.05g | Carb: 224.00g.   Breakfast: Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, Milk (2% Lowfat with Added Vitamin A and Protein). Lunch: Domex Superfresh Growers Granny Smith Apple (Medium), Nature Valley Protein Chewy Bars - Peanut, Almond & Dark Chocolate. Dinner: Maker's Mark skinless chicken breast, Cooked Asparagus (from Fresh, Fat Added in Cooking), Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Golden Crinkles French Fried Potatoes. Snacks/Other: El Sabroso Original Guacachip Tortilla Chips, Pop Secret 100 Calorie Homestyle Popcorn, Turkey Hill Vanilla Bean Premium Ice Cream. more...
on diet SherrieC's own diet  

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Comments 
one day at a time! stay strong. 
16 May 14 by member: sanjorjas
I think writing it down is an important step to self responsibility in the situation. I agree that money, health, etc make this harder because the stress. You can still do it though if you really want to. I know you can =) I hope the stresses and weight loss get easier! 
16 May 14 by member: FitOKay
YOU CAN DO IT... Good luck with ALL your "excuses" and your weight loss journey... ditto sanjoras! (((hugs))) 
16 May 14 by member: millerm40
What's going through your head has gone through everyone's at one time or another. Be easy on yourself. Keep up the good work. Stay true to your food diary and as time goes by, your progress will be your affirmation that you're doing fine.  
16 May 14 by member: ClassicRocker
I guess the real question comes down to this: How badly do you want it? For me, my husband sat me down and said, "Honey, there are no really fat old people in the world. I want to get old with you. Please do something about your weight." How could I say no to that? So my motivation comes from wanting to get old with the man I love, and wanting to get old, period! I want it bad, so I'm willing to whatever it takes, and at times it totally sucks. I also have no kids except my four legged ones, and all the more reason to do this for us, and for ME. It's been 9 months> I'm down 69 pounds with 60 to go. I gave up refined sugar. I log every bite I eat. I found joy in things other than food. I keep a daily written journal of my life in a book in my purse. I'm never NOT thinking about this journey. Decide how badly you want it on a scale of 1-10. Try to recall why you started and ask yourself what you're willing to give up to get to the finish line. I gave up refined sugar, but I traded it in for fresh fruit which I never knew the joy of until this past year. I rarely give advice when I support people here, but I'm going to ask you to keep writing because it seems like it's really therapeutic for you and it gets your feelings and motivations out. You're not making excuses, and we're not letting you give them. LOL! We're all here to support you, not pity you. Use us. It's what we're here for!! XOX 
16 May 14 by member: mrsmole
We ALL make excuses! What is important is being honest with yourself about everything, and that is key. Because if you lie to yourself and then feel sorry for yourself you will get no where, so I applaud your honesty. This is what keeping the journal is about. You see your short comings, your victories big and small. Its a slow process and so it should be. Just keep doing the right things 75% of the time and you should be ok. Its ok to slip up now and then. Have a great weekend! :) 
16 May 14 by member: littlelissylou
True, there is a gap for all of us between knowing and doing (as with anything in life). The great news is that it's just a short leap to close the gap! It's not the huge decision to lose weight or be healthy, but the small decisions as you walk through the minutes (and stresses) of your day. You CAN do this! :D  
16 May 14 by member: LuC2
Writing down what's going on, your feelings, struggles, etc. and sharing it can be very helpful. We all have our "stuff" and it's important to each of us. No need to feel bad for sharing some of the stuff you're dealing with, it's actually healthy to do. It's good to be honest with ourselves and evaluate our plan, how well we're sticking to it and re-vamp if necessary. So do that but also realize you're making progress and own that. You've lost weight since being here and that's an accomplishment. Today is the only day you can do something about, do the best you can do for today! :) 
16 May 14 by member: jmb3450
Admitting to ourselves that we have a "problem" is the first step in any addiction- including food- it is soo easy to take the easy road- trust me i know- we all do- we have to drag ourselves somedays to working out- or just not giving in to that one craving- we all have good days and bad days- just dont let bad days become bad weeks/months {{HUGS}} you will get this and yes you are STRONG enough !!  
16 May 14 by member: fludderbye
Getting healthier will help you to deal with all of the other stuff. Just take it one bite at a time. We are here for you. 
16 May 14 by member: foxymamachick
Journaling is such a great way to get it out and I find it to be so therapeutic, so good for you for putting into words what you're feeling. We're each on a journey with its highs & lows, but look how great your weight graph looks -- you're obviously heading in the right direction. Take it one day or moment or meal at a time, and be kind to yourself! xoxox 
16 May 14 by member: Ruhu
When i was in my year and a half long plateau, it was really really hard. I didn't see any progress. I was in a reverse diet to head off metabolic damage from severe undereating. I KNEW that. But I also let it get to me and I became difficult to motivate. There WERE things I could have done better, there were areas where I could have given 100% and not affected my path to a better place. But I didn't because.....I didn't have to. I knew I could get pretty close to the same place while be lazy, so I was lazy. What I am trying to say is, we all struggle with this. Even those of us that love the gym and love what we do. Last night was our cardio day. Cardio days are an option in this household. We lift heavy three times a week and that's all we HAVE to do to be active. But we often add on things because we LIKE being active. Yesterday we chose to not. Mostly because my daughter had gone to her fathers for the weekend and we chose to fool around making supper, flirt while eating supper and then that just lead from one thing to another. By the time we thought about working out it was pretty late to be running around. Did it affect my goals? yeah a little bit, it put me a day behind on my potential outcome. Did it ruin anything? nope. I'll still work out three times this week. My point is, don't get down on yourself, just realise that every decision sparks a move in a direction. There's the direction you are taking and the direction you WANT to take. Which decision at any given moment will it be?  
16 May 14 by member: Alex_is_Hawks
None of us are 100% on it 100% of the time. I'm proud of you for recognizing the areas that you can improve on, but I don't want this to create a negative self image for you. It starts with loving ourselves. Recognize that we all might have the same overall goals, but we are all fighting different battles with different demons (even if the outward stressors appear to be the same). Be kind to you, and focus on improving where you can. You are beautiful inside and out, and you deserve to give yourself the very best. Have a wonderful day Sherrie! 
16 May 14 by member: Yolanda9179
Pat yourself on the back for being aware. Being aware is the first step on the journey to achieving your goals. We fall down, we get up, we wobble and eventually we straighten up and fly right. Believe me once you get your health in check you'll work through the other issues in your life. Stay encourage! 
16 May 14 by member: mysize10
I am 100% in agreement with MrsMole on this. The key is really how much do you want it. We all "want" all sorts of things, but we WAY over-use that word. As an analogy, I play guitar. I "want" all sorts of amps and pedals, but in reality, I have the ones I really want. I have an interest in some others, but if I really "wanted" them, I'd buy them, sell or trade something, work extra, etc. to get them. In other words, we have what we "want." So do what you did, write it down and let those words stare at you. Do you really want it, or are you just interested in it? If you really want it, you'll move heaven and earth to get it. Do you want to lose weight more than you want that fast food/slice of cake/fill in the blank? The other major thing to remember is weight loss is a 90% a function of diet. Please don't rely on the gym to drop the weight, get the right numbers in your macros and then let the gym provide the extra boost, health benefits, and motivation. You cannot "workout" your way to slimness. :-) 
16 May 14 by member: pmjeff21
There isn't a heck of a lot I can add that hasn't already been said, but I want to show my support for your honesty. While I haven't had exactly the same issues in my resolve faltering or the like, I like to think that the way I would look at it would be like this: ANY changes I have made that I've stuck to are an overall improvement to what I was doing before. That could be drinking more water, giving up soda, becoming more active, logging my food, eating less refined sugar and/or processed foods. The rest of it, well, it will go how it will go. You might work hard at it for a few weeks, then have a few bad days and waver. So, maybe it isn't a perfect downward trend, but as long as it doesn't keep going back up, you're still improving your health. Just know that we support you and your journaling process.  
16 May 14 by member: gilliansings
Thank You Everyone for your post's. MrsMole, if I were truly honest with myself and everyone else, I wouldn't be so ashamed to tell you that I want it but not bad enough. I have settled my entire life, just getting by. I have never had the support for much of anything, so I just go with the flow, and take each day as it comes. I can't really explain it, and I know it sounds awful, but I really don't want to grow old. I have no dreams or goals that I want to achieve, sure I would like for them to happen but my desire is just not there. Okay, I am sorry to much drama. Thank You again Everyone for your support and thoughts, I do take them seriously and to heart. Have a great day. 
16 May 14 by member: SherrieC
Very few of us give 100% at the outset and few of us ever get to 100%. I know I don't. The goal is simply to get closer week after week. Getting an awesome workout each time we go also simply can't happen. The point is... you go. That's all. 
16 May 14 by member: northernmusician
Well said Northern. As they say, "shoot for the moon and even if you miss you will be amongst the stars". There's no question that it's a chore and the long -term commitment is a challenge. I think that is one of the good things about the site--knowing that you're not alone and that we all need help and motivation along the way. We all tend to want instant results, but of course it just doesn't work that way. 
16 May 14 by member: Rhino201
Don't ever feel bad we all handle things differently. Our life didn't come with a giant eraser or delete button.  
16 May 14 by member: deaby16

     
 

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