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So, just as I bask in the improvement of my relationship with DH, he does something to annoy me, so mind if I vent? Of course you don't, cuz thats just how you are…. and once again, lucky me!
DH works about 30 minutes away (although it can take up to an hour to get there & home during rush hours), and usually leaves for work at about 7ish am, and returns home between 7-8 pm, but his hours vary widely depending on how busy it is, and he also travels depending on the deals. It's rarely not very busy, though. Yesterday, at about 3:30, he walks in the door unannounced that he could or was coming home early and says "I'm checking up on you & DS". He has done this before many times, and knows I don't like it. I ask him if it's too much trouble to tell me in advance that he'll be home early. I tell him that this is & has been my "workplace" for the last 20+ years Mon-Fri, and ask if he'd like it if I showed up unannounced at his office to check up on him? He said "to lighten up" it was just a joke. I said it may have been funny the first 10 times, but wasn't anymore, and that if he somehow felt I wasn't trustworthy or was curious about what I'm doing anytime, all he had to do was ask. Obviously, our communication still is a work-in-progress. I gave hime the silent treatment for just a little while yesterday to make my point, but all is good again & I know in the scheme of things, it's a minor thing. But, it is something that bothers me, so I wanted to make that clear.
Should it bother me? Is it my own insecurity over the wonderful life I have and have had, & know is partly because of how hard he works? My therapist keeps telling me I don't give myself enough credit for all I've done for our family which has allowed him to focus on his career, but I struggle thinking of it that way… probably because being a mom, while hard work, was the best thing for me & I've always felt so lucky to have the "career" of my dreams… in my mind, the best possible way to live my life. Yes, there were tough times -- moving when the boys were young, raising them on my own much of the time as he worked long hours & traveled, but again it was truly what I was meant to do & have never wanted to trade my life for any other. DH, though too, lived the life he choose. I never wanted to leave Cincy in the first place. When the promotions started coming, taking us away from my family & friends there, I wanted him to take lateral moves if thats what it took to stay in Cincy. His career was too important to him, which I accepted & made the best of each new location and found ways to deal with living away from those I loved.
Hence, where we are today -- physically & emotionally. Anyway, just journaling about it here makes me feel better already, and more accepting & appreciating my own feelings around the unannounced early arrivals home. So, I think what's next in order is to talk more about it to DH, as we work toward a better relationship with more open communication. We may have another date night on Sat, and if we do, guess what I'll be bringing up? Today, he's off to Chicago for the day… think he'll let me know when he'll be home?!?
I'm off to tennis later this morning, and then whatever I choose to do this afternoon. There's always household chores & book work, but a shopping trip might be in order. We have no plans for the weekend:), except that I'm having dinner Sun night with a few girlfriends for a birthday, so might just have to get out for a birthday gift, and who knows what else I might see along the way? Just as journaling is so therapeutic, shopping is another wonderful form! But first, I'll pray --
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
And I'll continue to pray, breathe, log, journal & express my way through this one day, and each one meal, moment, bite, thought & emotion. I'm so very grateful for each of exceptional you, my family & IRL friends, more open communication with DH even though its hard at times, the calm before the severe rain storms we're getting this weekend, hot bulletproof coffee, and having the health & wealth to live this life I absolutely love! xoxox
Diet Calendar Entries for 28 March 2014:
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1341 kcal
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Fat: 49.98g | Prot: 110.84g | Carb: 131.35g.
Breakfast: Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk, Harmless Harvest 100% Raw Coconut Water, Spectrum Naturals Organic Coconut Oil, Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Vanilla Coconut Creme. Lunch: Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk, Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Chocolate Coconut. Dinner: Wegmans Autumn Roasted Vegetables, Berries, Chicken or Turkey Vegetable Soup (Home Recipe). Snacks/Other: Evolve Greek Kefir, Ralphs Whole Raw Almonds, Whole Foods Market Avocado Vinaigrette Dressing, Mann's Sunny Shores Rainbow Salad. more...
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1939 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 14 hours and 30 minutes, Tennis - 1 hour and 30 minutes. more...
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