pumakitten's Journal, 01 August 2013

August 1st already. This summer seems to have flown by!! 16 more days and I will be 56. One more year older. And hopefully the last year I'll ever be this heavy!!

I felt so good after going to the gym, doing my workout in the pool, and sitting in that hot tub for 10 minutes!!! Lord I LOVE that hot tub!! It helps so much with the aches and pain!! I keep telling the hubby that we need one, that trying to soak in the bathtub just doesn't cut it when your as big as me!!! Besides, once I manage to get in there, I have one Hell of a time getting back out!!!

I think I will also have to start setting an alarm, so I get up earlier. One good thing with this cpap machine, I really have been feeling much more alert when I get up. I was getting up so thoroughly exhausted, with absolutely no energy to do anything!!! I get up now, and I am feeling so much better, more rested, an I am getting my motivation to do stuff back!!

Motivation.....that is a key word in our diet world. You have to have motivation. Much more, you need DETERMINATION. Without that, (determination) you have it really rough. I won't say you will fail. It just makes it harder to diet. It gives you leeway to do the whine....I can't. It opens the door to ' It's too hard',
It opens the door to 'Ill do it later'. To excuses why you CAN'T do something that you know will help you lose weight.

Here is where you need to sit down with yourself, and open up what ever can of worms needs to be opened, and to be honest with yourself, and to seriously look at your reasons why you eat what you do, and why you don't want to lose the weight. Yep, you read that right. You might THINK you want to lose, BUT DO YOU REALLY??

That is why I said to have an honest look at yourself. Dig up all the hurts, the insults, the teasing, whatever it is , and face it. Whatever it may be. Then.........OWN IT!! Face it squarely. Tell what ever it is, that it isn't going to rule your life anymore. That dieting will help you do this, and you won't be bullied by the past, or the present, or by your diet, or the scales ......any more!!

I won't get into what made me hide. But that was what I was doing. Hiding. I was afraid. But now I am confident, and motivated and DETERMINED!!! Here comes the caps.....I WILL WIN, AND I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT FOR GOOD!!!

At first, I thought I was losing this weight for my health, and my hubbys attention, and to not be the one people talked about behind their back. That is part of it, but by no means the real reason. I was afraid and I was hiding behind the weight. Once I realized that, I was getting on track, and the other reasons stayed too, and just followed after.

I still want to lose to get more 'physical' affection from the husband, and for my health. I refuse to hide any more, and be afraid. I know that since this talk with myself, I am free now, to change my life for the better!!!

I am worth it.....an so much more!!!

I hope everyone has a spectacular Thursday!!! Keep waging that war we call Diet!!! I'll be right here, ready to back you up!!!

Lu

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1347 kcal

Fat: 74.14g | Prot: 69.20g | Carb: 102.77g.   Breakfast: equate fiber powder, Coffee-mate Peppermint Mocha , Coffee (Brewed From Grounds, Decaffeinated). Lunch: Eggland's Best Large Grade A Eggs, Bland Farms Vidalia Sweet Onion, Great Value Canned Spinach, Delallo Italian Style Pepperoni, Colby Jack Cheese. Dinner: Beef Chuck (Arm Pot Roast, Trimmed to 1/8" Fat), Eggland's Best Large Grade A Eggs, Cooked Cauliflower (Fat Not Added in Cooking). Snacks/Other: Terry's Dark Chocolate Orange, Lemon Water, Pepsi Pepsi Throwback (Can), Gala Apples. more...

3745 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 1 hour and 25 minutes, cooking dinner - 25 minutes, Desk Work - 7 hours, Resting - 5 hours and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 10 hours. more...