kmartdollie's Journal, 02 August 2012

Thanks everyone for being so supportive. I had a long talk with my cousin this morning and she is very supportive, and also I was able to support her with some of her stuff, and that felt very good. She's very supportive of my weight loss and dieting, she is educated about my diabetes, and she helps me with my running. I am lucky to have her in my life. I woke up late today so I didn't go to the gym. I also pulled a muscle in my foot yesterday wearing kitten heels to a job interview, and I was limping around work yesterday. Thank Goodness I have been dressing better the last 6 months at work since I've been trimmer so when I go to an interview they don't suspect anything if I don't have time to change when I show up for work! So that's two days in a row that I haven't gone to the gym. Hopefully my foot will be better tomorrow. The only thing I can say about dieting is that I'm thankful that although I'm going through all this personal stuff right now, I am not stress eating, and not smoking, which feels great. Normally if I'm going through this much stress, change and static, all at the same time, I am puffing away and eating HORRIBLE food and needless to say not exercising. I am not doing that at all right now. I have to say that a lot of what is helping me is the feeling of self-righteousness. I am in severe conflict with a friend that has a substance abuse problem, and in a nah-nah-nah-nah-nah way, I feel FANTASTIC that I am 100% clean when she is wallowing in it. I feel a little self righteous that I can stay on plan and keep in the gym when some other people I am having static with don't seem to be able to do that. It's not good to feel that way all the time, but I guess a little of it doesn't hurt. It does make me think about what the maladjusted people would say if I feel off the multiple wagons I'm on right now and gained back a whole bunch of weight and started smoking again. It scares me to think how easy that would be. I really don't want to go through this again. The past 7 months have been among the most difficult in my recent life and I don't want to repeat that struggle again. I want to get healthy and I want to stay healthy. And I still have such a long way to go. I am right on the cusp of being a size 10. My size 12s are loose, but not falling off yet. I have a couple pieces that are a size 10. I wanted to get down to a size 10 by my birthday at the end of the month, but I think I will need a little more time. Size 10 is special to me, it's a huge milestone. I have never in my adult life been smaller than that. It will feel amazing to be back there. But heh - what will REALLY feel amazing? Getting into a size 10 and then eventually GETTING OUT OF IT. I will be a single digit size wearer! It will happen!

Diet Calendar Entries for 02 August 2012:
1306 kcal Fat: 66.65g | Prot: 75.19g | Carb: 112.91g.   Lunch: tomato, romaine lettuce, Kraft Light Mayonnaise, red delicious apples, Oscar Mayer turkey bacon, Sara Lee Delightful 100% Whole Wheat Bread. Dinner: Wendy's BLT Cobb Salad, Wendy's avocado ranch dressing. Snacks/Other: braums no sugar added frozen yogurt, baby carrots, Jello sugar free chocolate pudding, Athenos hummus. more...
2492 kcal Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 11 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Resting - 3 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
Comments 
Kitten heels? Oh you rock, KMD! I bet they looked cool - but sorry your foot hurts. You will NOT backslide because you have worked too hard to give in to the bulls##t around you. If you workout more days per week than not, you are ahead of the game. Look at the progress you have made more than worrying about what's left to accomplish - you will do what needs to be done each day. Good luck on job interiew if it is a job you woould like to acquire. Later.............. 
02 Aug 12 by member: HCB
Thanks so much HCB! I have been thinking about your invitation to the challenge, and I just can't do it right now. I will message you. Thanks for the comment! 
02 Aug 12 by member: kmartdollie
No worries, KMD. You're cool............ 
02 Aug 12 by member: HCB
I'm excited for you! I'll be cheering for you and hoping you make it to your goal. Every pound lost is a success. This is the only time where a loss of self is to be celebrated! 
02 Aug 12 by member: Miriam T
That is awesome- and I know you will make it!! You have the best mindset and I love it, good luck with your job interview!! 
03 Aug 12 by member: wassonc

     
 

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