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Do you really want to lose weight? My RANT.
Topic submitted for
Soulnoid's own diet
Joined: Jan 12
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 10:38
Below is a journal entry of mine where I rant, enjoy:
Day 70- Diet is good and feel GREAT! But I have a rant: I am getting real tired of folks coming on here and being mad that they are 'FAT' and can't lose weight and then they refuse to give any info or hide everything from us. My answer is: YOU ARE NOT MAD ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! You just feel good saying it or something. I got news for you: I and everyone else here does not feel sorry for you, when I feel sorry for you is when we can see you are trying (Log everything and let us see it!) and you are still having problems. Again, ONLY YOU CAN MAKE CHANGE! I can not make you lose weight, nor can anyone else! You also can not dream it away. When I joined this sight, I posted everything I could about myself because I have nothing to lose by sharing my info! I posted my pic and gave info about me. (No, I did not post my name or location, it is the internet, LOL) We are all here for the same reason and we get support by doing it together. My feeling is, if you can can't post a pic of your face you are not ready for the journey of getting to a better life, and yes there is a better life than how you feel when you post 'I am 'fat' and I can't lose weight. My diet is not working, wa, wa, waaaaaaaaaa.'
What prompted this rant was I was writing the following reponse to a forum post and decided it may not be received correctly:
"Not to sound mean, but the one of the first things you have to do is get over hiding your issue and thinking you can handle it alone. (Who cares? We are all here for the same reason, get over it!)Like others have stated, we need to more info and we can lead you in the right direction. It could be a simple thing to get you moving. Are you logging your food? Are you logging your exercise? What are you eating, real food or junk? What are you drinking, water, diet soda or high cal drinks? What is your diet plan? Basically your post is like walking into the dr and saying 'I hurt' how can the dr figure out what is wrong if you don't give more detail."
I hope I got my point accross? Until you are ready to take charge of your problem and not let the problem take charge of you, you will FAIL! I see it everyday as a consultant in the business world.
I also see it in the youth sports I coach, every kid in the world can play a sport and be good at it, if they want to........... I layed into one of my girls last night at soccer practice that keeps telling me she 'can't do it' and she is 'trying', when she is not. I just about made her cry I went off so bad. But, you know something, she did not let a ball get past her the rest of the night! She became an amazing player, I just hope that same girl shows up for the game today. Now the kicker, this girl was born with no hands/half arms and half a foot on one of her legs. She is playing on a team of 'normal' girls. She has been told and shown her life that these problems allow her to 'just get by' but once she takes charge, and learns she can, she can be great! (I swear her mom keeps bringing her back to me, becuase I am one of the few that push her beyond her challeges.) You think the world is going to be 'fair' to her out there? NO, but she can make the world great if she wants it to be.
Sorry, got a bunch of rants out in one. Do what you like, Like what you do!
Joined: Jun 11
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 11:14
The fatsecret community cannot help you AT ALL unless we have this info
1. a general picture of you
2. all your food, good and bad entered into your food journal
3. your age
4. your current weight
5. Your dieting history
I think the current weight one drives me nuts. No one is going to judge you, we are all on the same boat! just post it so we know! advice can be different if your are 150 pounds versus 300 pounds, and we need to know which one you are!
Joined: Jul 11
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 11:15
I do agree with most of what you have to say, but a lot of people that have weight issues also have emotional problems either caused by being overweight or that have caused them to become overweight. Coming across to harshly can push them back into their shell and one thing I like about this site is the support it provides. The girl you coach, you have a personal relationship with her and you know how hard to can push without discouraging her but you don't know what is happenning in the lives of people who post here. When I first started I didn't post my weight and kept everything private as I was embaressed by my weight especially since I know I did it to myself. As I spent more time on this site I realized that no one was going to judge me and say "oh my god she is so fat", I then posted my weight and made everything public. But I needed to get to the point where I was comfortable with it. Next is to get a picture and post it, I have avoided the camera for so long that I don't have a recent photo. When you are overweight people tend to judge you as being lazy, less intelligent, and generally less worthwhile as a human being. It takes some people, like me, time to realized that doesn't happen on this site.
Joined: Jan 10
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 11:31
Excellent rant, Soulnoid ... you hit the nail on the head ... the site and all of its members are part of this community for a reason and the only way to our goals is to WANT IT ... everyone has to find it in themselves, dig deep, and be very honest with themselves about where they are at, what got them there and how much effort they wish to put into being someplace else. It's hard, I know ... and I get what fatoldlady is saying, chicken or the egg, emotions brought on weight or weight brought on emotional need ... regardless, just like any addiction, the power is within. Thanks for posting!
Joined: Jan 12
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 11:32
fatoldlady- That is my point, you can only hide so long. You have to take a step forward to better yourself. Nobody is going to take that step for you. This goes for everything in life. I understand a lot of folks here have other problems that help cause their weight issues. They have to start somewhere
Once you work on one problem the others get easier.
Two things got me started on my journey: 1) Someone telling me everyday for what seemed like years: 'Only you can fix your problems! You have to get mad about it!' I use to play the blame game. 2) I made a real commitment to clean up my finances, this got me started on finding a better job (Only I could make this happen!) and then the weight/health issues got easier to handle.
We all have problems, but we need to own them. After all, they are our problems........ until you can do this, nothing is going to happen and you DO allow others to decide for you.
Joined: Aug 08
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 12:58
Only you can fix your problems! You have to get mad about it!
This is probably the most important thing about weight loss. No one can get on the treadmill for you. No one can squat for you. No one can say 'no' to that extra helping for you. You have to want it bad enough.
I'm back on this site after a 2 year hiatus (and a hefty dose of weight gain). I kept wondering how I let myself slip when I knew exactly what to do. The answer I found was that at the time I just didn't want it bad enough. I got comfortable in my ways.
I finally got mad, and got back on here.
"You are now watchin' the throne. Don't let me into my zone. Don't let me into my zone.
I'm definitely in my zone."
Joined: Jan 12
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 13:51
My weight loss now is for vanity more than health. I am healthy & fit enough, still overweight which I'd like to fix. True I could do more, and I'm trying to with this half marathon training. I'm using the diet & activity tracker from my healthclub b/c I like it better. I like the community here better. The buddies, the forums, the open dicussions and comments.
Joined: Jan 09
Posted: 31 Mar 2012, 18:14
“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them.” - Andy Warhol
I try never to let what others are doing get me upset though. We each have to go through this journey our own way, sometimes that means alone. Sometimes criticism from others sends you to retreat. Sometimes you aren't strong enough for that yet. I lost my first 60 lb without interacting with others on this site because I was not ready to be criticized in such a sensitive area of my life. Telling me to "get over it" would not have been useful, which is why I stayed away. Not everyone learns the same way and not everyone finds the same things helpful or inspiring.
Do whatcha gotta do, but if you let other people's choices make you angry, you're wasting your energy. (Trust me, I've wasted plenty!)
My blog, This is not a Diet:
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Joined: Jan 12
Posted: 01 Apr 2012, 00:18
Loved the rant!
Joined: Jan 12
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 00:51
Haha this is gold! Its true that everyone needs to take responsibility for themselves. Own up, admit a binge, discuss your shortfalls -chances are there's plenty of ppl who have struggled with the same bad habits and have advice on how to get past it to achieve weightloss.
I use a different app to record my calories and cardio cause im from australia and it has better brands. But yep, the more transparent and open you can be, the more your taking responsibility for yourself (and allowing others the opportunity to help).
Joined: Feb 12
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 07:08
While I don't think a profile picture is actually necessary, I do believe that logging your food intake, exercise, diet plan and current weight is important when seeking advice or assistance in this weight loss journey. Nice rant...I'm raving mad enough to go log my food now! LOL.
Joined: May 10
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 09:20
Soulnoid - I totally get it, and, it feels so good to get it out.
I have a friend who has recently decided he wants to lose weight, he wants to work out like a fiend, but he doesn't necessarily want to write down what he's eating. I'm still working on him. I actually have hesitated trying to get him on this site because I am so open with my stats (I don't really want him to see that I weigh more than he does....probably) - but I am a Fatsecret believer and I don't think he'll be as successful unless he buys in completely.
Now to just convince him of that...
Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had because they didn't have the talent or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela
Joined: Feb 12
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 11:19
To be fair... some people ARE just that ashamed. For them to even take the step to join Fat Secret is a HUGE MOVE for those people.
Joined: Jan 12
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 15:27
I totally see your frustration, and I also see the other side of the coin. for many people their weight is a huge source of shame and embarasment. When I first joined fs I kept EVERYTHING hidden I read other peoples journals but never commented. I eventually added a few buddies then allowed only them to see my weight and journal. I was so ashamed of where I was and it took me awhile to learn that people here are not like the people at my old gym that look down on you for being over weight. Everyone here is super supportive. After I realized that it took me awhile before I put everything public, then it took some time before I was able to post a photo. I do agree that it is more helpful when everything is public, but some people are not in a place mentally emotionally that they feel they can do that. So Yes it would be nice if all of us had enough confidence that we can throw it all out there. Give people time and let them take this journey at their pace. Some people will never get to the place they are comftorable showing everything but that is their journey not your journey. Don't let their whinning get to you.
Joined: Mar 12
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 19:11
I am one of 'those people'. Perhaps, I am so disgusted with myself and so ashamed at how many times I have failed that I surely dont want to broadcast it. My purpose in joining was mainly to get tips and find motivation. I did not intend to become involved because I am a very private person and do not open up easily. I suffer in silence every day. Its not fair for you to judge me based on me keeping my details private. It is hard for me just to post here. Perhaps I have been let down too many times before to trust that this site will be any different than the last. All I know for sure is that I am only 41 at 200 lbs and on medications for thyroid, high blood pressure and cardiomyopathy. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Joined: May 10
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 19:34
NOV, I've seen that fatsecret is a really great community and if you are able to reach out, someone will be there to grab your hand and help.
Whenever you're ready, you'll have people willing to motivate you!
Joined: Jan 12
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 20:38
NOVA- Go back and read what I posted. Have you posted in a forum that you are fat and you don't understand why you are not losing weight and then refuse to answer when folks try to help? If you read the posts on the forum from time to time you will see someone that posts they are having trouble, but won't provide any info. All, I was pointing out is they are not ready to face it and do something about it.
I did not post this to call out the 1000's of folks on here that don't share their info. They may not be ready or do keep it to themselves and some don't need the help. I also intended to point out some ways for folks to move forward with their journey. Like they say, if it was easy the world would be perfect and we would be 'great'. The world needs all types, we can't all live the same life.
Wichitaks- I am not frustrated, I am just saying, we can't help if you don't want it. When I wrote this I just got done reading 3 threads that all went the same: 'I need help, I don't know what I am doing wrong' and then folks want to help but there is no more info provided by the poster. I also wrote it to motivate those that needed it. It is the same thing that got me motivated. I know it won't work for everyone, but some it will. If you want it bad enough you will figure out how to get it. The hardest part is figuring out that it just won't happen and it is HARD work.
For those that don't get it, you will, if you want success. If you have had success, who did it for you?
Joined: Jun 11
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 22:14
Soulnoid, you don't know what you're talking about. This is a dumb rant that berates people for no reason.
The obesity game is rigged and the rules we are told to live by are not the real rules of the game. We're told to eat less and exercise more, that advice has failed miserably... not for lack of trying but because that isn't the rules for losing weight (and it isn't why we gained weight in the first place)... those are rules to emotionally destroy people that can't understand why their body doesn't seem to be working properly. Lucky people don't have fast metabolisms, just a more resilient metabolism to crappy food.
Like a woman in an abusive relationship... even when the relationship is over the woman is still filled with shame, guilt, and a sense of worthlessness.
Look at any obesity graph:
These trends cannot be explained away by laziness. In 1980 were American's so much more active than they are now? Back in the 80's you didn't see people jogging/biking/walking like you do these days, marathon promotion is reaching a fever pitch it seems like... a walk for this a run for that.
Why are we fat? Do we get fat because we eat more or do we eat more because we get fat?
People aren't getting fat because they're moving less... they're moving less because they're getting fat.
If you were a farmer how would you want to fatten your beef/pig/chickens? Farmers long ago learned that the most important factor in fattening an animal was to change the diet.
If you wanted a fat cow or pig you feed it lots of grains. If you wanted to fatten a calf you feed it low-fat milk mixed with powdered (oxidized) milk fat.... basically you feed the animal an unnatural diet.... Low-fat milk, high grain diet.... sounds like the USDA food recommendations to me...
Until us knuckle heads wake up and realize it is the type of food and not the quantity of food that is the source of the problem we will continue to be manipulated into berating ourselves and others through a false sense of certainty on the issue.
Old traditional foods are the answer. Eating liver (or any offal), eggs, meat & bone stews, fermented foods, raw foods like unpasteurized homogenized milk. Refined foods and food-like-products are the enemy. These include excessive flour, sugar, soybean oil, corn oil, fructose, canola oil, artificial sweeteners, MSG, etc. Our bodies don't know what to do with these 'foods'.
Oh, but you say "I don't follow the USDA guidelines!"
It doesn't matter!
If a company wants to label it's food as healthy it has to conform to government guidelines.
School lunch programs have to conform to government guidelines.
College nutrition courses have to conform to government guidelines.
Like I said, the game is rigged against us and as long as we berate each other the longer the government and food 'manufactures'* can keep the wool over our eyes.
Next time get a clue before you get all excited about a rant you posted.
*Why do we 'manufacture' food instead of growing it anymore?!?!?
"Eat as if your life depends on it!"
Joined: Nov 11
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 22:41
We're told to eat less and exercise more, that advice has failed miserably...
I'm just saying, I've been tracking my food and 'counting calories' since November 2011 and sticking to an exercise schedule for 5-6 days/week and it's worked wonderfully for me. I actually just hit my goal weight today.
Must be a miracle.
Someone who is busier than you is working out right now.
There will come a day when you can no longer do this. Today is
Joined: Jun 11
Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 23:42
Yes, lets just continue to wag the dog.
"Eat as if your life depends on it!"
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